I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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