we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Randomize
