we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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