HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
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