turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
