Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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