Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
