I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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