Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
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