I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
MIDGETS
????
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
