After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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