I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
