The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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