did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
