I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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