She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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