Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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