The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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