I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
