You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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