I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
