I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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