All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
false alarm, still single
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