just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want nice things and good sex
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize