Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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