She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
