Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
