I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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