my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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