What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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