Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
