The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
