I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
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