thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
