Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(+26): View more from

And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.

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(314): View more from Missouri

I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you

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(513): View more from Ohio

Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?

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(315): View more from New York

gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.

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(551): View more from New Jersey

Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me

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(706): View more from Georgia

Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving

(706): View more from Georgia

Your blankets are not drunk friendly

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(207): View more from Maine

making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned

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(217): View more from Illinois

the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him

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(727): View more from Florida

We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.

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