brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize
