Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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