She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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