There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
