Do you still have your period?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
