so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
