i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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