god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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