My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
