is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
