I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
