wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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