Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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