I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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