youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
