It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
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