no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
