I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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