so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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