Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
