My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
