Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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