I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
