When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
