You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
