he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
