i think my mom watched the whole time
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
is that a dick in a sweater?
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