Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
operation have a gay friend backfired
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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